Saturday, April 05, 2008

i m really miserable. miserable kinda sums up my life right now.

army army army. the idea of a conscripted fighting force. sigh. change is fine. we all go through change. but induced change is not. i mean like fine, one of u is gonna come and give me the bullshit about life and we are all subjecting to the bloody circumstances and we have to bloody learn how to deal with it. and we can always go on into the eternal debate about how all change can be categorised as induced change. please, spare me. and den at the ferry terminal, theres also that line about its not what you leave behind but what u gain in the end. to me, bullocks.

i mean like, whats the fricking point of having 8 solid pecs and a damn bloody buffed up body if u lose ur girlfriend in the process. whats the damn point of building up endurance and a 'strong mentality' when u lose touch of what the hell goes on outside the camp, and as a result u come out in 2010 as a person still living in 2008 and all that u built up is used to solve the difficulty it brought it the first place. irony. and you go to uni (assuming u could pass the interview cus 3 weeks of army life already made u a dud) being a total 100 times more duddy dud. wad is the damn point of being efficient, of being discipline, being able to bathe in 5 mins and change in 5 mins and be there early all the time when almost everyone else in the world outside camp is gonna frustrate you cus they arent gonna keep up with ur lameass regimental standard and you cant do a shit about it. and not as thou bathing and changing in 5 minutes is gonna earn u a spot in the Guinness book of world records or win u a gold medal at the Beijing Olympics. and in there, they bark instructions at you, they scream at u and u hear more swear words then u have ever heard in ur entire life, you come out being so snappy and so proficient at hurling verbal abuse that they might as well give you a badge for it. makes u a menace to society. doesnt it. makes me wonder, how come no one made swearing in the army a chargeable offence. i mean at least u end up with a more cultured society. and discipline is bullshit if u cant control urself not to swear. so in the end, u lose more then u could ever gain, and this whole thing has a major loophole. and seriously, no ones gonna really care when u tell them, i clocked 8 minutes for my IPPT run or i did the SOC in 8 seconds or i completed the 24 km route march and i went through field camp.

sometimes i seriously wonder wad the hell i m doing all this for. i mean like when u go in. u try to make the most of it. but the truth is that, this sucks. and if we were all so ept at leaving things behind. lot's wife would not have turned into a pillar of salt. and we would forfeit almost everything that made us human. robotic regimental soldiers who swing forward 90 and back 45, programmed to the 7 core values, but werent we made to be just more then that...

|cowpoo| 8:34 AM|

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